Darcy Get's a New Pet!
by Nolesr1
Summary: While searching the stars one night, Darcy and Erik stumble across a large Golden Retriever and agree to 'adopt' him.


Once upon a time, there lived two girls (or women, I guess you could say)-they were both legally adults. Anyways, there once lived these two young women, Jane Foster- a brilliant scientist who studied the stars and the worlds around them. And Darcy Lewis- Ms. Foster's spunky, taser wielding, Political Science intern. These two, though they suffered a great many petty arguments, were the dearest of friends and lived with a fellow scientist/father figure: A brilliant, yet slightly insane man by the name if Erik Selvig. One day (or night because Jane wanted to study the stars with a less than enthusiastic Darcy and a maybe _too_ enthusiastic Erik) the three stood beneath the velvety sky, watching the continuous glimmer of the numerous stars above them and marveling at the pure vastness of it all. Well, Jane was wondering. And thinking. And counting. And being an all-around scientist. Darcy was dreaming about her bed and the coffee that she had to leave behind in this last minute escapade into the desert and Erik-

Well, no one knew what Erik was thinking about because his mind seemed to jump around far too often for either Jane or Darcy to keep up with.

"Amazing," Jane mused softly though her voice carried to the other two members of her party. "To think, these stars have been around for centuries! Ancient Vikings and Soldiers and Seafarers used to look to these stars for directions and help; ancient cultures could tell the best times to plant crops and have children with them!"

"Well," Darcy drawled, stifling a yawn behind her hand and wiping her eyes as they began to water, "that is fantastic. Can we go home now? I think I just saw a spider or something."

"How can you stare at something so astounding and not be moved the slightest bit?" Jane demanded, keeping her voice low as though the spot where they stood was a holy place, "I mean, imagine what we could learn from these stars! Imagine the-the data we could find if only we could fully understand, could fully _grasp_ even the slightest bit of what these stars could tell us!"

"Did you know that a star is, like, millions of years old," Darcy began randomly, both women ignoring Erik as he stumbled over a sand dune and began walking towards something. "And probably died millions of years ago? So, if we made a wish on one now, we're wishing on a dead star?"

"What's your point?"

"No point. Can we go home now?"

"No," Jane answered flatly, returning her attention to her expensive telescope that _Darcy_ had to drag to the car and that _Darcy_ had to set up. Well, okay, not _set up,_ per se, but she had to work pretty freakin' hard to drag that thing back out of the car and put it where Jane had told her to. "We're staying until we see something. Come on Darce," Jane added, her tone pleading as she reached for her Intern/best friend's hand. "It's only one time-"

"This is the third time this week!" Darcy argued, snatching her hand back. She sighed, though, at the pleading look in her friend's light brown eyes. "Fine," she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest and casting the desert a petulant glare, "But I swear to God, Jane, if something bites me and I die because of it, not only am I blaming you, I'll come back and haunt you from my grave."

"Thank you, Darce," Jane answered with a small smile, patting Darcy's shoulder, and returning her attention to the telescope. "Amazing," she repeated, more to herself than to Darcy, "I can see the Orion Nebula and-My God, is that a white Dwarf? Incredible..."

Darcy rolled her eyes at her friend's mutterings but let them go, but not before muttering that the so-called 'white dwarf' might just be some plane because those assholes-according to Jane, minus the 'asshole' bit-seemed to love flying over them whenever they were out here. Sometimes Erik would rave about how the ships were from outer space: something about aliens and the like. Darcy snorted, yeah right. Aliens. Like she'd ever believe-

"Jane!" She heard Erik yell, "Darcy! Have a look at this!"

Wanting to do something that wouldn't involve injuring herself any further- haha, guess who was paying for her medical bill if she ever needed someone to look at her neck!- Darcy shot Jane one more look, as though wondering if her friend would be alright if Darcy left her alone for a few minutes. Jane waved her hand at Darcy in her usual, _Yeah, yeah, go on, I'll be fine _gesture and continued to peer through the lens of her telescope. With a final roll of her eyes, Darcy turned to leave, making sure to kick the wheel of their van before falling Erik's voice. Pain lanced up her toe, but Darcy paid no mind to it: she brushed her hand against her back pocket, reassuring herself that Bolt, her faithful Taser, was safely stowed away in her pocket. Nodding once in relief when she felt it, Darcy continued on in the desert, wondering when she was going to get some food.

When Darcy found Erik he was on all fours, in the sand, petting something. It was kind of sad to think that her friend may have finally lost it, but as she got closer, Darcy realized that Erik was petting a real _thing._ When she stopped behind where Erik was crouched, she saw that he was petting a dog. A large Golden Retriever, by the looks of it, without a tag.

"Aww," she cooed, stepping around Erik and crouching on her legs, "it's so cute! What's its name?"

"Don't know," Erik mused, patting the dog's hindquarters, "I just found him a few minutes ago."

Darcy reached forward and began running her hands across the dog's neck, laughing when it-or _he,_ whatever- snorted and shook his head, dislodging Darcy's hand. He stood up to his full height, which was a little past Darcy's waist-the thing was _huge_!- and walked away, completely dislodging Erik's hand as well. Darcy and Erik watched the dog for a little while longer while the dog, for his part, didn't pay them the slightest mind: he just kept walking around in a circle, growling at the sky and barking great, thunderous barks at the stars overhead.

"Wonder what the stars did to piss him off," Darcy mused aloud, glancing up at the sky in an attempt to see a bird or something that would cause him to growl at the dark expanse above them.

"Maybe he can sense a storm coming," Erik mused, stuffing his hands in his pocket and mindlessly shifting his weight form one foot to the other. "You know how some animals can sense changing patterns in the weather? Maybe he's picking up something."

"This has been the driest summer on record," Darcy argued, rolling her eyes as the dog continued yelping at the sky, "Hell, it hasn't rained in weeks! I'm surprised they haven't called a drought or something."

"Maybe the dog wants some food," Erik responded with a shrug.

"Maybe the dog's part Chihuahua," Darcy mused aloud, "one of my Aunts had one of those and I swear the thing never stopped barking."

The two stared at the massive Retriever. Darcy gaped at it when it stood on its hind legs and growled at something that neither of them could see.

"I don't think its part Chihuahua," Erik answered, looking slightly stunned at the dog's size as he dropped back on all fours. Darcy frowned at the mutt when light caught her eyes: she stared off at the horizon, jaw dropping when she saw that the sun was coming up.

"Shit," she swore, stopping her foot in frustration. Both Erik and the dog stared at her in surprise but Darcy paid them no attention. She had a shit load of stuff she needed to get done and she was also _exhausted_. She hadn't gotten a wink of sleep and now she had to wait another twelve hours before she could even try to catch a couple zzz's. Work today was going to be hell. If she made it out without murdering someone it would be a true miracle of God. Darcy growled and stopped over to where she left Jane who seemed to be doing fine without them: she had easily loaded up her telescope and was pulling a granola bar out of her bag which she had left in the van.

"Thank God," Darcy answered with a large, gusty breath. She walked straight up to Jane and without breaking stride, snatched the granola bar from her friend's waiting hand. Stuffing a small mouthful between her teeth, Darcy gave her friend a muffled, "Fank'oo."

Jane rolled her eyes but reached in her bag for another bar. That's when Erik entered the scene, a large Golden Retriever bounding after him, tongue lolling out of his mouth. Jane's gaze went saucer-sized as she stared from the pleading, dark blue eyes of Darcy to the wide, delighted glowing of Erik's, to the big, sky-blue puppy eyes of the dog.

"No," she told them flatly.

…...

An hour later found Jane, Darcy, and Erik, and Zeus-their newly 'rescued' Golden Retriever- in the little expanse of Jane's motor home. While Darcy, grinning from ear-to-ear at her victory, began filling an old Starbuck's cup up with water.

"We can't feed it," she told them flatly, still annoyed at having her reasons for _not_ having a dog in her home completely ignored. "I don't have any dog food and I can't pay for any right now."

"What about the pension you get from Erik's science buddy?" Darcy asked, crouching down and placing the cup of water in front of Zeus. With a delighted wagging of his tail, Zeus began happily lapping up water, not seeming to mind when Darcy began petting him again. In fact, if his tail was any indication, he was quite enjoying the attention.

"That covers the cost of my equipment and the necessary things that feed us," she argued, crossing her arms over her chest and looking annoyed. "It does _not_ cover expenses for feeding a dog the size of a wolf."

Having finished its water, the dog wagged his tail one more time, nudged Darcy's hand with its large, velvety nose, and began exploring its new home-ish.

"Look, Darcy," Jane tried again, "don't you think it's a little, oh I don't know, _cruel_ to have a dog that size in this dingy hovel? He looks like he should be herding cattle, not wandering around in this small hole."

"Come on Jane," Darcy pleading, shooting her big, blue-eyed pleading thing that she always did. Jane groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose, realizing that the fight was now over and she hadn't stood a chance. "Me and Erik'll take care of him so you won't have to worry-"

"And you'll be looking for a new home for him?" Jane demanded, wanting to gain some kind of ground in this argument. Darcy grimaced, but reluctantly nodded. Jane sighed and shook her head. "Fine," she told her flatly, ignoring the yelp of absolute joy that erupted from Darcy. "He can stay until we find him a new home. But if he ruins anything of mine-any of my equipment, my notes, anything," Jane continued, trying to sound like a mature, responsible adult instead of like an older sister trying to keep something from her parents, "he's going to the pound. Deal?"

"Deal!" Darcy answered, a huge smile lighting her face. Zeus, having wandered back into the little kitchen, barked once, his tail wagging like crazy and beating against the legs of each occupant in the room.

Erik looked simply delighted at the thought of a new friend and Darcy crouched down on the ground, petting the dog and telling him about all the fun things they were all going to do. The Dog's tail was truly pumping now, and he looked like he was smiling. Still grinning that doggy grin, Zeus licked Darcy's face, covering her glasses with dog drool. Jane rolled her eyes and dragged Darcy away, reaching for her glasses and rubbing them on the edge of her shirt. Making sure there was no slobber in sight, Jane handed the glasses back to a sheepish looking Darcy.

"You're welcome," Jane told her dryly, biting back a laugh when Darcy enveloped her in a tackle hug. Zeus barked, earning the attention of all the occupants in the room: he stared at them all expectantly as though demanding that they find some way to amuse him. With a roll of her eyes, Darcy strolled over to the door and whistled. Zeus, seeming reluctant, followed Darcy out the door while she called over her shoulder,

"Come on Zeus! I wanna see if you can fetch."

….

A week passed and still neither Darcy nor Erik had managed to find Zeus a home. Jane was beginning to think it had less to do with finding a suitable home and more to do with Erik and Darcy not _wanting_ to give the dog away. With a frustrated sigh, Jane stood up all the while ignoring the dog currently sprawled on the ground in what she considered her kitchen. Grabbing her scientific notebook, she stepped over Zeus and tottered down the stairs, almost tripping twice because her foot had fallen asleep. She stumbled across the sand and plopped down on one of the lawn chairs that colored her, well, for lack of a better word, lawn. Reaching for a match that she kept by the pit, Jane struck it and watched as the match lit before throwing it into the fire pit. A loud bark startled her. Turning, she glared at the Golden Retriever now trotting over to where she now sat, hackles raised and staring warily at the now slowly growing fire. Rolling her eyes, Jane reached forward and ran the hand not holding her notebook across the raised hackles.

"Relax," she mumbled, her gaze slowly rising to the sky above now covered with stars. "It's just a fire."

Very slowly, Zeus's hackles flattened and Jane retracted her hand and crossed her legs. Placing her notebook in her lap, Jane turned to a random page and starting reading and rereading everything that she had written. Zeus whined and nudged her elbow in an attempt to gain her attention.

"I just don't understand," she mused aloud, more to herself than Zeus. "I'm _so close_ to understanding the characteristics and effects of an Einstein Rosen-bridge, _so close_, and I can't do anything now because our benefactor just took retracted some of our funding and now-God, I can't even begin to think how this will effect everything else and-dammit. Nothing seems to be going right!"

Zeus whined and rubbed his head against her arm like he was attempting to comfort her in the only way possible. Blinking rapidly, Jane wrapped her arms around Zeus' neck and buried her face in his fur. She had no idea how long the two stayed that way and she was honestly surprised that Zeus hadn't gotten impatient and twitchy as he had been known to do when Darcy made him stay still for long periods of time. When she released Zeus, she leaned back and, for some reason lost to her, began to talk. She talked and talked and talked about nothing in particular. She spoke about her family and her work: most of all, though, she talked about space. She talked about her theories and her ideas and Erik's own thoughts about the subject. She didn't know when she fell asleep. She didn't know how long she stayed curled up in a ball on the lawn chair. And she didn't know that Zeus stayed there, vigilant, watching every movement around them, protecting her.

….

"Darcy!" Jane yelled a day later, rubbing her temples in an attempt to fight off her growing headache. Zeus laid down at her feet, his eyes open and taking in everything. It wasn't the first time that he had been to Darcy and Erik's apartment and Jane doubted, at this rate, that it would be the last. Darcy appeared, her beanie planted crookedly atop her head.

"Yes, Boss lady?"

"Is there someone at the door?"

"Maybe…"

"Well, will you please get it?"

"My IPod's still syncing!"

"Darcy!" Jane demanded, glaring slightly at her Intern, "I'm not asking you to scale The Great Wall. I just want you to open the door!"

"… Fine. But if it's a Robber-"

"Take Bolt," Jane interrupted flatly, slightly chagrined to have actually called the little electronic piece by its so-called 'name.' Darcy rolled her eyes but nodded, shooting a 'Peace' sign at Jane as she disappeared around the corner. Jane rolled her eyes at her friend's antics, but returned her attention to the notebook planted on the coffee table, Erik on one side, Zeus on the other.

Darcy strolled casually towards the door, wondering who in God's name could be bothering them at such a late hour in the morning. Granted, she had just woken up so any hour would be bad, but still… stopping in front of the door, Darcy reached for the doorknob and pulled it open. She stared in wide-eyes amazement at the man on the other side: black hair swept to the side, a green, three piece suit, and bright green, calculating eyes. Darcy was positive that she would have noticed him wandering around this little nightmare of a town.

"What's up?" She asked suddenly, not exactly sure what else she was supposed to say. "Are you selling Bibles or something? Or are you here to rob us, 'cause it's only safe to warn you that I have a taser and I know how to use-"

"Have you seen a dog?" The man asked. Darcy blinked. Gorgeous and English? This Dorothy sure was a long way from Kansas.

"I-What?"

"A dog," the man repeated slowly, seeming more amused than anything, "known as _Canis lupus __familiaris_ or better known as 'Man's Best Friend'. Does this sound familiar?"

Darcy glared at the man, half tempted to slam the door in his gorgeously smug-looking face. "I know what a dog is, smartass. What I wanna know is why _you_ want to know."

"Articulate."

"You know something funny? I have a taser who doesn't give a damn if what I say is funny or not. So, shut-up or I will shove those barbs right up your-"

"Tell me," the man interrupted and Darcy couldn't tell if he was insulted or not. Damn poker face. "Are you always this friendly?"

"Are you always this obnoxious?"

"Tread very carefully-" he began, only to be cut off by Darcy.

"Why are you here again?"

He glared at her, definitely annoyed, and finally answered, his words clipped, "I'm looking for my _dog_. He answers to… Thor. And I was wondering if-"

_SLAM._

The silence that followed was all but deafening, save for the low murmur of conversation where Erik and Jane now sat.

"Darcy," Jane called after a moment, "who was that?"

"No one!" Darcy answered, casting one last murderous glare at the door. She was surprised that the bastard didn't try knocking again. Darcy glared at the door one more time before turning and stumbling towards the room where sat her friends and _her_ dog, dammit.

….

For the next week, Darcy made a point to always lock the door, whether it was at her apartment or Jane's. Although she was 90% positive that the guy wouldn't try to break in or, God forbid, steal _her_ dog, she still made sure that she always knew where Zeus was. God, she was beginning to feel like a mom. Thank God, though, she hadn't seen neither hide nor hair the Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome in a week. Unfortunately though, her great luck was not to be. A whole week after the first visit, Darcy could be found sitting on the couch of her apartment, staring at the blue screen of her laptop, her tumblr page open and her IPod working hard to download the newest song. Zeus, watching with interest from his seat next to Darcy on her bed, was wagging his tail, seeming completely entranced.

_Thank you mom for that ITunes gift card_, she thought with a grin, _I almost reached thirty songs!_

The sound of something pounding on her door drew her out of her excitement and with a disgruntled growl, she pushed herself off of her bed and lazily strolled to the door, Zeus happily (he always seemed happy to do anything) trailing after her, his tail wagging, as per usual.

"If you're looking for Jane," she called through the still closed door as she swung the door open, "she ain't here. I wouldn't suggest coming back because Jane doesn't-"

There was no one there.

With a frown, Darcy was about to shut the door when Zeus gave a loud (damn, everything with that dog was loud, wasn't it?) bark and nosed his way past Darcy. Frantically, Darcy glanced around the small hallway, hoping that no one saw Zeus so that they couldn't narc on her.

"The hell, Zeus," she growled, reaching forward to try and pull him back. "What are you-"

There was a cat.

A very pretty black cat standing with its back arched and glaring at an overly exuberant Zeus.

"Aww," Darcy cooed after successfully managing to drag Zeus back into the apartment, "you're so cute!"

With a grin, Darcy crouched down and reached for the cat, balancing it in her arms and looking it over. She noticed that its fur was probably the blackest she'd ever seen and its eyes were a pretty shade of green. There was something oddly familiar about those eyes…

"Are you a boy or a girl?" She asked it, picking it up so that she could see its underside. The cat gave an indignant yowl and began struggling in her arms. "You're a boy," she decided, ignoring its growling. "I'm gonna call you… Salem. Do you like that?"

Salem glared at her, clearly unimpressed. With a shrug, Darcy hugged her new cat closer to her chest and entered her apartment.

…

That night, Darcy had the weirdest dream. She supposed it had something to do with falling asleep while watching an episode of 'Supernatural' and downing three or four cups of Coke. Anyways, she woke up in the end of night (which is weird in itself for Darcy) to the sound of two very unfamiliar male voices in her kitchen.

"-We must leave!"

"Nonsense, brother, everything is fine!"

"Fine? _Fine?! _By our father, these mortals think us pets! They think us animals!"

"Hush, Loki, Lady Darcy is sleeping in her chambers not far from here."

"Oh, yes," the first voice-Darcy assumed this one was called 'Loki'- growled. "_That one_. Of all the humiliating- that mortal should be _grateful_ that I didn't punish her right then-"

"Peace, brother," the second voice interrupted. "Lady Darcy didn't know: you can hardly fault her for her ignorance."

"Ignorance or not, if that mortal touches me again, I'll-"

"Zeus?" Darcy called, her words slurred, "you alright boy?"

The silence that followed was near deafening, but seconds later the sound of claws on cheap tile floor could be heard. With a relieved sigh, Darcy rolled over in her bed and faced Zeus, whose tail was now wagging a hundred miles per hour. She shot him a tired, probably slightly drunk smile, and closed her eyes. The last thing she felt as she drifted off to sleep was a slight dip of the bed, indicating that something small and light had just made its bed on hers.

….

The next day, Darcy was leaning over her computer with one tab opened on Microsoft Word so that she could copy some things for Jane and another tab opened on a Wikipedia page titled 'The Norse Pantheon.' Outside, Erik was attempting to teach Zeus how to fetch while Salem sat on the window pane, a contemptuous look that only cats seemed capable of producing on his fuzzy face. Beside her sat Jane, leaning over her notebook of wonder. The silence was starting to get to Darcy.

"So, Boss Lady, I was wondering-"

"Does this have anything to do with your sudden infatuation with mythology?" Jane interrupted, not even looking up from her notebook.

"How did you-"

"You've been on the same computer tab for over two hours. I have three degrees. I am capable of making educated guesses every now and then."

"Congratulations! You've finally begun your lessons in sarcasm! I'm so proud."

"Shut-up, Intern."

"Sure thing, Boss Lady," Darcy chirped cheerfully, laughing at Jane's failed attempt to hide her exasperation.

The silence lasted another few seconds before Darcy tried again.

"So… What do you know about Mythology?"

"You mean besides the obvious Disney stories and the messed up family trees? Not much. I choose to stick to the sphere known as reality."

"I think I'm a bad influence on you."

"Shut-_up_, Darcy and like I said, I don't know much about mythology, but Erik might."

Darcy blinked in surprise, "wait. You mean _our_ Erik?"

"Uh… Yes. You are aware that he grew up with these stories, right?"

"Evidently not. So, wait, Do I just ask him-"

"Ask who what?" Erik's voice interrupted from the doorway. Turning, Darcy saw Erik enter the room, Zeus happily bounding at his heels. Before Darcy could ask about the whereabouts of Salem, said feline leaped onto her lap and stared at the computer screen for a moment. Darcy didn't think anything about it until the cat started growling at the screen, which then forced her to close the laptop. Even after the screen was out of sight, Salem continued glaring at the place where it had been. Darcy rolled her eyes and picked Salem up before depositing him back on the floor. The cat glared up at her, before going off on his own, no doubt looking for a higher surface so that he could seat his royal cat ass on it and act the a king. Cats were weird.

"Ask you about the stories that you evidently grew up with as a child. You know, back when Moses was a celebrity and they were still working on _The Argo_." Darcy chimed up, casting the older man an impish smile at the jab. Erik studied her and Jane in surprise before shrugging.

"There's not much to tell," he told them as he took a seat on the couch Darcy was currently on. "Just a bunch of myths about gods and beasts and giant wolves and-"

_CRASH_

Before anyone could actually grasp what was going on, the three shot to their feet and headed towards where the sound had issued from, Zeus tailing them. When the quartet reached the kitchen, Darcy saw Salem standing right in the middle of a large pile of trash with his tail flicking back and forth, the plastic trashcan rolling on its side. The three gaped at the smug looking cat while Zeus studied it through baby blue dog eyes. Jane turned to glare at Darcy.

"I thought I told you to keep the pantry door closed so that this wouldn't happen?"

"I did!" Darcy protested, ignoring Salem as he sauntered over to her and wound his way around her legs.

"Oh really? Then how did the cat manage to get into it? When did we even get a cat?!"

"… Surprise!"

"Pick up this mess, Darcy," Jane ordered, rubbing the bridge of her nose while Zeus cantered to her side and began rubbing his nose against her arm. "And clean that cat off. We want to make sure he looks nice when we take a picture of him to put on the 'Found Cat' poster."

"But I-"

"_Darcy,_" Jane interrupted, her voice flat but tired. "I'm not in the mood for this. Just _please_ clean that cat."

Darcy grimaced but then forced a smile, saluting Jane in the process, "sure thing, Boss Lady. I'll be sure to give the little mischief maker a bath."

With a final warning look, Jane turned on heel and marched out of the room, Erik and Zeus trailing behind her. Darcy's smile vanished as she turned to glare down at the cat who was still winding itself around her leg. Feeling absolutely no pity, she crouched down to pick the cat up and then walked towards the kitchen sink, preparing herself for hell.

….

Ten minutes and about thirty scratches later, Darcy smirked down at a viciously yowling Salem whose fur was standing up on end with a pretty pink bow wrapped around his neck. With a smug grin of her own, Darcy reached for the beast, easily dodging the paw that was thrown her way.

"Stop being such a Drama queen," she told him, reaching down to pick him up. Very slowly, the yowling cat calmed slightly and, at the very least, stopped using Darcy as his scratching post. "Anyways, you look nice! I don't get why cats don't like water. I mean, Tigers like water and they're just a very distant cousin to you guys. What's your problem?"

Luckily, the cat didn't answer, just continued growling under its breath.

Darcy ignored the beast's complaints and walked into the living room, greeting the occupants with a cheerful, "I have thirty scratches on my damned arm. If I get sick and die because of them, you're all gonna be very upset."

Neither Erik nor Jane looked her way, both too consumed with leaning over her abandoned laptop and staring at something on the screen, no doubt some evidence or star patterns that caught their fancy. Whatever.

"So, Erik," Darcy began, plopping herself down on the single seater in the room and adjusting Salem on her lap. "What was it you were saying about your bedtime stories?"

"Mmm," Erik drawled out slowly, barely lifting his head to look at her. "What?"

"You know, those stories with the monsters and giant wolves and the like?"

Finally, Erik looked up, seeming surprised by her sudden interest. "Why are you suddenly so interested?"

Darcy shrugged, running her hand up and down the cat's spine, reveling in the softness of the cat's fur.

She ignored Salem's claws that were now digging into her thigh. "No reason," she told him, "Just a really weird dream I had last night."

Erik studied her a minute longer before shrugging and returning his attention to the screen. "Nothing much to tell."

"Was there a guy called 'Loki'?" Darcy asked, wincing slightly when Salem's nails dug even deeper into Darcy's thigh. "Damn dude, enough. Retract the claws!"

Slowly, almost reluctantly, Salem's claws relaxed on her leg and Darcy could tell there would be some kind of cut or bruise later.

"Mmm, yep," Erik answered still completely involved with whatever was on the screen. "Loki, god of mischief and the like. Weird guy, he was. One legend said that he slept with a horse and then birthed a foal."

Darcy blinked in surprise, completely ignoring the growls emitted from the small feline on her lap. Strangely enough, Zeus stared coughing from his spot next to Jane. "Wait… _He_ had a baby horse?"

When Erik nodded, Darcy gave a low, impressed whistle. "Damn," she mused, still stroking Salem's fur. "Imagine how confident he was in his own masculinity. Gotta give the man some credit for that. Who or what else did he give birth to?"

"Let's see," Erik hummed aloud, still bent over the computer. "There was Hel, the guard of the Norse underworld. Another was a giant wolf and his brother, a snake."

"Soo… Did they take after their father or mother?" Darcy couldn't help but ask, biting back a snicker of her own. Salem started clawing her again, as though warning her to be quiet. Zeus continued coughing.

"No idea," Erik answered. "Either way, they were all either locked away or thrown somewhere: the children of the mischief maker and a frost giant wouldn't exactly be welcome."

"A… What?"

For the next few hours, Erik amused her and, yes, even Jane, with tales of Loki and Thor and Odin and Sif and the beings of the Norse Pantheon. None of them noticed the silent conversation of the cat and dog.

….

"How dare these mortals-"

"Tell me brother," Thor interrupted, his eyes dancing with mirth and his voice choked. "Why have you yet to tell mother and father of your offspring? Surely, they would be most delighted to know that they have grandchildren!"

"_Sssh_," Loki hissed, glancing around the dark room, worried that his oaf of a brother may have woken the Lady (and he used that term _very _loosely) Darcy from her sleep. "Hush you fool! If we are to escape without their knowing then we must be _quiet_!"

"Is it odd, brother, to say that pink suits you? I am most glad you played this trick," Thor continued, lowering his voice. Loki's only response was a murderous glare of his own.

Thor, still trying to suppress a guffaw, smirked but otherwise followed his brother's advice. The two quietly wound their way around the overcrowded, messy apartment room, trying to be as quiet as possible. It was Thor, course, that somehow managed to upend a piece of furniture, very loudly, that resulted in Lady Darcy sitting straight up and staring into the dark room. with a few lowly hissed words, Loki managed to hide both himself and Thor, though he still found himself wincing when her gaze lingered on the spot where the two now stood. Loki felt of wave of humiliation: he had lived for centuries, overpowered beasts larger than Thor and yet, here he stood, cowering behind a spell to hide from a mere mortal.

Oh, how far the great have fallen.

"Zeus?" The Lady called. "Zeus? Salem?" And then, in an almost pathetically small voice, "anyone?"

With a sigh of his own, Loki spoke another word of power beneath his breath, conjuring the image of a dark cat. Crouching, Loki magicked the illusion to Lady Darcy's side. With a smile that he would later deny, he watched as the Lady scooted over to make room for the small beast before wrapping a protective arm around it. No sooner had she performed that action when she let out a soft snore and fell back asleep. The two deities stood in silence for a second longer before making their way towards the door. Thor glanced back at his brother.

"Heimdell will allow us passage once we are far from the eyes of mortals," Loki told him, keeping his voice low. Loki made to follow his brother when he, too, stopped and turned to glance over his shoulder and the sleeping figure.

"Thank you… Darcy," he muttered into the darkness, smiling wryly. "It has been most… Educational knowing you."

With that, he strode after his brother, his stride steady and his back straight: every bit of a prince.

….

Darcy stared moodily out the car window of the Driver's seat, ignoring Jane as she fiddled with something on her computer with Erik leaning over her. The trio was now seated in Jane's crappy old van, watching as a massive storm slammed into the desert, looking for something that Jane had found that she wanted to show Erik.

It had been nearly a month since her Darcy lost both her cat and her dog. The only bright side about any of this was that Erik's mind seemed to have cleared from his momentary lapse of sanity. Neither She nor Jane could explain what happened. Darcy still wondered how she didn't see Salem of Zeus escape from her apartment; she could've sworn that she fell asleep with Salem safely in her arms. Maybe it had all been a dream?

"-I swear it was here!" Jane was saying, scrambling through her pile of data as though double checking her facts.

"Jane," Erik began in a calm, fatherly tone, "perhaps there was something wrong-"

"_No_, Erik," Jane interrupted, still frantically flipping through her little notebook of wonder. "I wouldn't have asked you to watch this if I wasn't absolutely certain about it!"

"Can I turn on the radio?" Darcy asked her tone petulant. She wanted to drown at their voices and just bask in a moment of self-pity.

"No, Darcy," Jane snapped, pausing in her frantic scrambling to glare at the intern. With a huff, Darcy returned her attention to the front, watching as the sky roared above her and lightning flashed all around her. She hugged her arms closer to herself, trying to hold back a shiver at the angry sky. God, what happened to make the sky so mad?

"It was all here," Jane was saying, sounding panicked, "all the evidence, everything was right here, everything pointed to this spot! maybe-"

"Jane-" Erik tried again, only to be cut off by Jane herself,

"_No_, Erik," Jane growled walking towards the front of the car. "Everything is here, everything points to this-"

Suddenly, the sky was filed with bright, beautiful colors. Darcy swore, Jane stood stunned, and Erik gasped,

"I thought you said it was a subtle aurora!"

"Drive, Darcy!" Jane ordered, snapping Darcy out of her funk. Slamming her foot on the gas, she drove until she was directly under what now appeared to be a glowing tornado. Was she about to see the Wizard of Oz? If so, she was so going to ask him what the hell happened to her pets. As the lightening flashed above her, Darcy suddenly felt a faint hint of fear: something seemed _wrong_. With a sudden thought of self-preservation, Darcy changed course and drove away from the twirling winds of death.

"What are you doing Darcy?" Jane demanded, snatching the wheel in her hands.

"I am not dying for six college credits!" Darcy snapped, trying to wrestle the wheel out of Jane's hands. The two continued their tug-of-war until a noise that sounded frighteningly like a person slamming into the side of the car was heard. Darcy slammed on the brakes and stared at Jane in horror. The two held the other's gaze for a moment longer before snapping into motion: Jane scrambled to the door, Erik at her heels as Darcy tried to release herself from the damned seatbelt.

"I think that was legally your fault!" She called after Jane as she finally managed to free herself and rush after her friend.

"Get the first aid kit!" Jane responded, dropping to her knees at the figure lying on the ground. Darcy rushed back to the car, grabbed the kit in question, and ran back to her friends. As she got closer, she heard Jane begging the dude to stay alive. As she neared them, Darcy saw a huge dude with blonde hair and strangely familiar eyes staring back at them. the man stared at them in confusion before pushing himself to his feet and shoving them out of the way. Jane stayed where she was on her knees, examining the strange markings on the ground, Erik at her side.

"Look at these!" She was saying all while ignoring Erik's sound advice to take the dude who was just hit by a car to the hospital.

"You!" A deep voice boomed suddenly, snapping Darcy out of her daze. She turned to stare at the oversized blonde Ken doll. His voice sounded strangely familiar... "What realm is this? Alfheim? Nifleheim?"

Darcy, acting purely on instinct, reached into her pocket and grabbed Bolt, pointing it directly at the large dude's chest.

"New Mexico," she answered, keeping her voice calm. Blondie's eyebrows shot up,

"You dare threaten me, Thor, with so puny a weapon-"

His sentence was cut short when two barbs carrying thousands of bolts of electricity entered into his skin. The three stared at the dude in surprise as he felled like the giant tree he was. Erik and Jane turned their surprised look to Darcy.

"What?" She demanded her tone defensive. "He was freaking me out!"

The sound of a voice clearing behind Darcy caused her to spin on heel and release another bout of electricity, not caring who was at the receiving end. Now lying at her feet was another dude, decked out in green (a shade that reminded her of Salem's eyes), wearing the same style of outfit as Blondie. Darcy's gaze swept from The Green Beret, to Blondie, and then back to Jane and Erik. Her voice was half astonished and half terrified as she voiced all of their thoughts,

"_What the hell just happened?!_"


End file.
